


Tamara Doesn't Know How To Read And Gets Laid For It

by orphan_account



Series: Sunday Drabbles [2]
Category: Eddsworld
Genre: Alcohol, Alcoholism, Chubby!Tamara, Crack, Drunkness, Everyone is chubby, Except for Matilda, F/F, Just Crak You Guys, Mentions of Smut, Post The End, Really Shippy, Smirnoff, Tamara is a little shit, Tamara is already chubby why is that a tag, Tamara the Queen of Drunkness, a little angsty, bc you guys love sinning, but its not shown, kinda shippy, literally wtf, maybe ill write another story showing the smut, only a little, shes too good for that shit, why is that a tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 19:07:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8765392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tamara is drunk, and can't read her texts for shit.Ooooooor, also known as...Tamara is drunk and Ell picks her up from the local down the street because Tamara can't read her texts. And she forgot her own address.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry for the lack of a drabble yesterday!!! Yesterday was a really busy Sunday for me, and it wasn't natural for me.  
> f(;-;)"

**Tamara Doesn't Know How To Read, And Gets Laid For It**

Tamara felt the buzz of her cell phone in her pocket. She didn't know which pocket, or where exactly her pockets were, so she just patter down her body in the general area of where her pockets were the last time she checked. 

She found her phone in her left back pocket, and drunkenly pulled it out. She didn't know who was calling her, she told everyone at the house to  _not_ bother her, as she was going out to a bar to drink her problems away. Again.

When she was sober enough, she could see Ell was worried about her. Ell was quite the mother hen when she wanted to be. Ell thought she was being reckless, with all she was doing to 'cope' with the events that happened recently. 

Tamara drank because of what she did to Tori. She honestly hated herself, and wanted God to strike her dead. Mainly because if she did it herself, Ell would never for her own self for letting it happen like that. 

Tamara squinted at her phone, the words blurry and fuzzy. Nothing she could make out. But she saw a lot of green, so naturally, she assumed it was Ell. She answered the call with a lazy, slurred, "'Ello, Ellie," she giggled lightly at the nickname. Ell sighed on the other end. "You're drunk as hell, huh?" She replied. "I am sooo drunk," Tamara answered. "Like, I am currently veeeeeeery drunk, right now." She laughed a little. Ell sighed. "Well," she said. "You're not going to be any help. Bye." Ell hung up. Tamara thought it was strange, but she said bye anyways. 

Tamara attempted to put her phone back in the back pocket of her jeans, but failed miserably, and just ended up putting it in her front left hoody pocket. 

Suddenly, Tamara felt her phone buzz again. It was just a quick buzz, so Tamara assumed it was a text message. She drunkenly pulled the phone out of her pocket, almost dropping it by accident, and blinked from the bright screen. She almost fell out of her seat, on the barstool, but a tall girl with long brown hair caught her, kind of by accident. Tamara just sorta fell into her arms. "Heeeey," Tamara said, grinning drunkenly. She kinda looked a little silly, like this. The girl who caught Tamara didn't say anything, and just smiled a little in reply. She sat Tamara back up, and then sat next to her. 

Tamara's phone buzzed again. The girl next to Tamara still hasn't said anything, but she sort of watched Tamara with a curious, almost studying look on her face. She had long brown hair, and one, sharp, grey eye, while the other was covered in bandages. "Ya know what?" Tamara said, rather than asked. "Hm?" The girl replied in a distant-sounding voice. Tamara put her head in her hand. "Ya kin'a look a li'l familiar?" Tamara asked, more than said. "Is that so?" The girl replied. Tamara nodded. 

Tamara's phone buzzed once again, and this time, Tamara remembered to look at it. Tamara had gotten three text messges in a row, all from Ell, who was just trying to make sure Tamara was okay. Tamara smiled. She loved how Ell was always so protective over her, like a mother, or an over-protective girlfriend. Tamara blushed a little at the thought, but you wouln't be able to tell under the drunken flush that colored her face, already. 

Tamara typed a quick reply, probably unintelligible, and looked back up for the familiar girl. She was gone. Tamara didn't see her anywhere. She didn't think too much of it, though, in her current state, she didn't think much of anything. 

Tamara felt a sudden wave of nausea crash over her. She covered her mouth, but nothing cane up her throat. She was very grateful for that. The bartender looked at her, with that serious expression bartenders alway wear, and said, "Look, lady, I think you've had more that enough, go home." Tamara glared a little at the bartender. "Listen, 'ere, pal," Tamara said, her voice cracking and going all over the place. "I ain' done dringin' 'till I say so!" She attempted to pound her fists on the counter, but it was more like a weak slap with the palms of her hands. "Another drink, my good man!" She slurred out. 

Out of nowhere, Ell grabbed Tamara from behind, and lifted her out of the seat. "Ah!" She yelped in surprise. She turned her head to the best of her ability, to see a concentrated Ell. She was concentrated on trying to pick Tamara up. She was a little heavier than she looked, aparently. "Ell?" She asked. "Wha'er you doin' 'ere?" She questioned. "I'm going to take you home because you can't read for shit." Ell replied. Tamara giggled. "Ya got that right! I'm hammered! I can' feel anythin'!" She laughed. "I's great!" She was full on cackling, now. 

Then Tamara woke up at home. 

Her hair was a mess. 

"The fuck happened las' night?" She asked no one. She had a pounding headache. She put her head in her hand, and closed her eyes, trying to shield her eyes from the harmful sunlight pouring through her windows. She groaned. 

She looked to her left, and saw a note, some asprin, and a glass of water. 

_Tamara,_

_You probably don't remember what happened last night, so I'll clue you in._

_You were totally hammered, last night, so I brought you back home. Then, one thing led to another, and that's why you're naked._

"Whoa," Tamara said. "Did- did I really- What?" 

Tamara totally got laid last night. 

"Wohoa!" She cheered, even if she didn't remember it. 

But she totally got laid. 

The End. 

**Author's Note:**

> Tamara got laid.  
> Maybe I'll write the smut, at some point. Who knows? Just because you guys love sinning.  
> But this was mainly crack, or something. I was a little tired of angst, but I put it in there, anyways just because.  
> The End. Again.


End file.
